My life has become this one big”I DON’T KNOW”

Stuck between, What if, what might, what could have and

What never will? 

And all I want to know is what actually it is?

Noone asked for pain.

Yet they get it!( my affirmations)

Not given the preference to be born as what we want

Yet got to struggle with that( my interrogation)

We don’t want hurt,

Yet we pass on!( my exclaimation)

We never liked that

Yet we passed on(my retaliation)

Pain is personal

But Who longed for it?

Decisions for life

Who will take care of who?

Some believed ,some followed,

Left unanswered are in a row;

If pain is personal, why not the choices for life?

Burdens of relations, enforced on life

Noone claimed for their wrong

Had their choice to pass on

I had to take on me

Culprit my senses were not “strong”

Like stardust glistening on fairies wings, these innocent eyes are full of magical things…

Those innnocent eyes

Whenever I gave them a glance, 

They took my fear away

and gave me the sense! 

To be the believer in good

No matter what I did 

They took me to a place

Where life giggles, sorrows hide in wood

Where truth and purity in the vision stood

Full of hope and confusions

They never gave up even in the hardest of their fear

No matter how body responded,  the innocence stays the same

Weaker in the size they were full of strength

The innocence that could melt away the hardest

The  innocence that made the hardest spines bend

Without an effort their magic spreads the vibe

Lost in the harsh reality

The eyes that made dreams so realistic

The reflex of the eyes that was embedded in the soul, 

Those  innocent eyes that made my reality the most enchantic! 

She lost her soul to the darkness…

​

She doesn’t feel like herself, 

Not anymore.

She lost her soul to find a life for her. 

She had the dreams to chase 

But she chased the glow worm.

Following his light in the dark forest 

She got scratched through her way 

Smiling to  her pain

Making a memory of scratches

She just hoped to bring him back, 

But…

She forgot she has no wings 

Her hopes couldn’t make her  fly 

Leaving her alone in the dark.  

The glow worm flew…

Now she was the watered version of her

– Pale and direction less!

She slipped through the cracks, fading in the background.

Walking barefoot on the path

The path which was full of pain ,

With the touch of broken glasses,

Her wounded memory bleed again –

Finding her way through the never seems to be ending bushes.

the Bushes that scratched her soft skin, 

Her wounded memories bleed more. 

Gathering the strength ,

She was still hoping again 

To go back to chase her dreams again.

Going thru darkness, fighting with the pain,

She was back on the road to her home

But in the miseries of darkness,

She grew sharp edges on her so that noone could come close to her.

She doesn’t know how she become this, 

How she ended up here?

Carrying the burden of mountains which she wanted to climb,

She was now scared to say things of her mind.

Everything was exhausting for her, no matter she slept for hours, 

Something inside her has given up

She lost the soul she was ,

Now a tired soul which she was 

She only remembered the way she used to be- bold, reckless and unapologetic.

“Be the reason of someone’s smile today!”

Dream big , live big, but don’t miss the small…for the moment it may be tiny for you but it could mean world to someone.

There was this story I heard long back. Once there was an old man who was walking on the beach after a storm. In distance he saw someone moving like a dancer. As he came closer, he saw at was a young woman picking up starfish and gently throwing them back into the ocean. Old man asked the lady “why are you throwing starfish in the ocean? To this the lady replied ” the sun is up and tide is also going out now and if I do not throw them back in water, they will die.” ” But young lady, do you not realise that the beach is many miles long and there are thousands of starfish, you can’t possibly make a difference” the old man said. The young woman listened to him politely, then bent down n picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean, I made a difference for that one”.

So true!!! At the end these small things become the reason for that big smile, that smile which can make such big difference to our life, which was not realised when it was absent but which when outbreaked, empowered your soul for life with a joy. 

Think small, as your small may be tiny for you but its can be a big moment for someone. Your old tee could be a piece for you, but it can be peace of mind for a mother who is worried for her daughter roaming on the streets begging for food, feeling relieved, now eyes would be on her hands not on the body. Be it your after party leftover piece of cake or a candy in your handbag. It could be a birthday surprise for someone surviving for few bites for their daily survival at streets.

Share your cake and feel the taste which would be sweeter than ever😊.