I am my history, You may know me by my name, but you don’t really know who I am and what’s my story? May be you ‘ve heard about me by *them but I maintain they don’t know what I went through?
May be they are better, may be they really are, as I can’t be judgemental but then we don’t know what we come across in our lives, but still if they are better, and when I imagine them in my shoe , I see them falling in their first step. I have fallen, I am hurt. They can just imagine my reaction,they can’t introspect.
Noone can claim, what they will do if this happens to them until they are in it,it is easy to judge else’s action assuming yours, if you would be in their shoe. But I know the uncertainty of life now, we just know what we think we would do, NOT what we would actually do.
They want to judge me-” don’t – just don’t, they can’t handle half of what I ve dealt with. There is a reason I do things I do, there is a reason I am who I am ‘ coz when I began loving whatever was not healthy for me(may be people, job, my beliefs, my habits), I hated all that kept making me feel small and vulnerable. Yeah! ” Yours” and ” My” judgement call that disloyal but somewhere now I see it as self loving, why not if can make mistakes while loving others , I can make it again loving me. My life I lived, my behaviour(noone talks of it now ha ha), my mistakes and my lessons.
And what is theirs?
Its a judgment!!!
I am not my past anymore.
They can’t accept me for who I am today ‘coz thats me in front of them. They can just judge me ‘coz their sins were not same as mine but they were not quick even to forgive then to pass a judgement as I did.
In the end, we ll be judged by god not only in terms of what we have done to ourselves but in terms what we have done to others and that includes our JUDGEMENT too.
One thing that still keeps me going are the lines we used to sing-
We shall overcome
I will overcome,
Oh, Deep in my heart ,
I do believe
WE SHALL OVERCOME ONEDAY😊