But I do…

Maybe now I understand why things are temporary maybe now I understand why it has to end. I just wanted grow up at any cost because I felt I am the most miserable kid around, as I have the most strict parents who never allow me to take holiday on the weekdays just like that. Now why it was so necessary to have a reason or always have a reason to take off from school goddamn they never understood its a long journey of years to go and study. And to my support I have this one sister just one year old to me who never allowed me to touch her stuff, coz I spoil it, ‘so what?’ I was younger to her.
I think I would have called me to b felt it then in my childhood what its like to be a grownup then now. But unfortunately when I actually grew up I just wanna go back in time. So much passed, forgotten…friends, games, teachers, school…
But I remember, I still do how I would put my arms in my shirt and tell people that I lost my arm.
But I remember sleeping with all the soft toys and the dolls all together so that none of them get offended.
But I remember how I would wait behind the door to scare someone but leave soon as the person took too long to come and I just didn’t had the patience.
But I remember I had this pen with 6 colours and I always tried pushing all the buttons at once.
But I remember how I thought that moon is following my car and I continued checking every minute is he still doing it or he has given up.
But I remember how I watched those two drops of water roll down the window and pretend it’s a race.
But I remember when I swallowed the orange seed I was scared to death that now a tree is going to grow in my tummy and get tense how am I gonna make my pony and hide the tree popping up from my scalp and hide that at school.
But I remember how important it was to look fair at school and could not wait to look fair so how I applied talcum powder over my wet face and finally ended up looking like a clown when reached school.
But I remember how I would fake being asleep so that mum and dad could carry me to the bed.
But I remember how my attempt to finish the chewing gum by chewing gum whole night always ended with first a “Yes” when I found its not in my mouth, then a “No” when I found it stuck over the wall or my pillow.
Lots of memories and moments.
Do you remember when you were a kid and could not wait to grow up what you were thinking?
No matter how much I grow life amazes me all the way.
I wonder may be years after what I am doing now will become funny too and I might be penning it like
But I DO REMEMBER…

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Bade din ho gaye

When I was four years old, my mum always told me that happiness was the key to a good life, then I went to school and my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said I wanted to be “HAPPY”.
To this she told “You didn’t understand the assignment, but me the mumma’s girl told her you didn’t understand life.”
I understood and believe that someday everything that appears now weird or irrelevant will make perfect sense. I understood there are no apologies, no excuses, noone to lean on, rely on or to blame. Its your journey and you are responsible for the quality of it. Laugh on your confusions, find reasons to smile in midst of tears and remember everything happens for a reason, infact a good reason. It may not feel the way at present but it will enrich you with the experiences to grow, it will give you an understanding that everything is temporary, time has no time for moments to hold. So, if its a bad moment, it shall pass .

And, if its a good moment, it will become a cherished memory.
Memories “that last and can be created..”

*बड़े दिन हो गए*
इतने channels होने पर भी लगता है कुछ नहीं देखा चित्रहार देखने की इंतज़ार को बड़े दिन हो गए
अब 2 रोटी खाकर चिंता कि वजन न बढ़ जाये
वो स्कूल से लौटकर 5-5 रोटी खाये *बड़े दिन हो गए…..।*
ये बारिशें आजकल
रेनकोट में सूख जाती हैं…
सड़कों पर छपाके उड़ाए *बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
अब सारे काम सोच समझ कर करती हूँ ज़िन्दगी में….
वो पहली गेंद पर बढ़कर छक्का लगाये *बड़े दिन हो गए*…।
वो ढ़ाई नंबर का क्वेश्चन पुतलियों में समझाना…
किसी दोस्त को नक़ल कराये *बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
जो कहना है
फेसबुक पर डाल देती हूँ….
*किसी को* चुपके से चिट्ठी पकड़ाए *बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
बड़ा होने का शौक भी
बड़ा था बचपन में….
काला चूरन मुंह में तम्बाकू सा दबाये *बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
आजकल खाने में मुझे
कुछ भी नापसंद नहीं….
वो मम्मी वाला अचार खाए
*बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
सुबह के सारे काम
अब रात में ही कर लेती हूँ….
सफ़ेद जूतों पर चाक लगाए *बड़े दिन हो गए*….. ।
लोग कहते हैं
अगली बड़ी सलीकेदार है….
दोस्त के झगड़े को अपनी लड़ाई बनाये
*बड़े दिन हो गए*….. ।
वो साइकल की सवारी
और ऑडी सा टशन…
डंडा पकड़ कर कैंची चलाये
*बड़े दिन हो गए*…. ।
किसी इतवार खाली हो तो
आ जाना पुराने अड्डे पर…
दोस्तों को दिल के शिकवे सुनाये
*बड़े दिन हो गए*………..

(poem is a forward by an old friend)

Its the little things in life…

She always catches my attention. Daily in the morning she was there for them or they were there for her. Where to many they were lovable, to many they were a nuisance blocking the whole end of the road to the turn. Every morning passing through that turn she comes in my way with a long stick n just about when I try to drive the car she stand in the middle of the road banging the road with her long stick to fly them away of that narrow road. “The old lady with a little bended backbone.”

Picture courtesy: Google

(could not click while driving but looks somewhat like her)
They fly n clean my way and I move on but they flew back again. Could be to join back the flock or may be for the feed. Then one morning again while passing through the same I observed the temple,there was one temple just opposite to that turn on the opposite lane. In most of the religions its considered auspicious to feed the birds. ..yeah I can recall I saw the same kind a kit of pigeons outside famous Mahalakhshmi temple of Mumbai. People feed them.

The feed from the people coming out of the temple. ” So may be it could be the reason for those flying species to collect there too ‘The feed‘ which people buy from that old lady with the stick…yeah she use to sell bird feed on that turn. Call it her livelyhood but I call it her love. The love that wanted to feed them and protect them. Sometimes little ways touch no matter its your personal or work life…vibes count.

Original picture showing the turn.

Pride Nostalgia…

Got this one from a old friend, felt like sharing it…
Superb stuff for those who grew up during the 70-90s in middle class India,
Here are some things that you can identify with……

1. Though you may not publicly own to this,
at the age of 12-17 years,
you were very proud of your first “Bellbottom” or your first “Maxi” .

2. Phantom & Mandrake were your only true heroes.
The brainy ones read “Competition Success Review”.

3. Your
“Camlin” geometry box &
Natraj/Flora pencil were your prized possessions.

4. The only “Holidays” you took were to go to your
‘grandparents’ or your
‘cousins’ houses.

5. Ice-cream meant only –
either an orange stick,
a vanilla stick –
or a Choco Bar
if you were better off than most.

6. You gave your neighbour’s phone number to others with a
‘PP’ written against it
because you had booked yours only
7 years ago and were still waiting for your number to come.

7. Your parents were proud owners of HMT watches.
You “earned” yours after SSC exams.

8. You have been to “Jumbo Circus”;
have held your breath while the pretty young thing in the glittery skirt did acrobatics,
quite enjoyed the elephants hitting football,
the motorcyclist vrooming in the
“Maut – ka – Gola”
and it was politically okay to laugh your guts out at dwarfs hitting each others bottoms!

9.. You have at least once heard
“Hawa Mahal” and
“Binaca Geetmala”
on the radio.

10. If you had a TV,
it was normal to expect the neighbourhood to gather around to wait & watch the Chitrahaar on fridays or the Sunday movie.
If you didn’t have a TV,
you just went to a house that did.
It mattered little if you knew the owners or not.

11. Sometimes the owners of these TVs got very creative and got a
bi or even a tri-coloured anti-glare screen which they attached with two side clips onto their Weston TVs.
That confused the hell out of you!

12. Black & White TVs weren’t so bad after all because cricket was played in whites.

13. You thought your Dad rocked because you got your own
(the family’s; not your own own!)
colour TV when the Asian Games started.
Everyone else got the same idea as well and ever since,
no one came over to your house and you didn’t go to anyone else’s to watch TV.

14. You dreaded the death of any political leader because of the mourning they would announce on the TV.
After all how much
” Shashtriya Sangeet ”
can a kid take?

15. You knew that
” Indira Gandhi ”
was somebody really powerful and terribly important.
And that’s all you needed to know.

16. The only “Gadgets” in the house were
the TV,
the Fridge and possibly a mixer.

17. Movies meant Rajesh Khanna or Amitabh Bachchan.
Before the start of the movie you always had to watch the obligatory “Newsreel”.

18. You thought you were so rocking because you knew almost all the songs of
Abba and Boney M.

19. You go crazy when you heard
“ Aap Jaisa Koi Meri Jindagi Mein Aaye ”
by Nazia Hassan .

20. Photograph taking was a big thing.
You were lucky if your family owned a camera.
A reel of 36 exposures was valuable hence it justified the half hour preparation &
“setting” & the
“posing” for each picture.
Therefore, you. have at least one family picture where everyone is holding their breath and standing in attention!

Cheers to good old friends & times.💐

Even if its repeat,
worth reading .
These were the days my friends & they will never come back again

Human as well…

Theory or an abstract:
Women:
Wife
Mom
Sis
Daughter
Now on this whole heartless world
Where we wrong ?
Have the guts to rape but not answer the fact no excuses, women are not human ?
U ll end up ignoring, showing attitude, but stating we r nt human
……
Babubbhahaiya nakhra karti hai, demands rakhti hai,

Toh…
Kuchal daalo
Tume kuch nahi chahie, sufiii ho…

Find yourself again…

We usually forget everything is temporary, sometimes maybe the thought comes across our mind too and may be someway motivates us to do give the best and do something out of the box out of our comfort zone but then that moment also passes n that also becomes a memory and get stored. And we continue believing and living as if there are plenty of tommorrows waiting for us. We postpone our feelings, desires and words to another day, another week, another year.

Everything is temporary and forever is an empty promise followed by …Sometimes we get lost for so long that we forget what it was like to be ourselves…Maybe our life is not so much about becoming anything. But may be its about now not becoming everything that is not really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

जीवन की भाग-दौड़ में –
क्यूँ वक़्त के साथ रंगत खो जाती है?
हँसती-खेलती ज़िन्दगी भी आम हो जाती है।
एक सवेरा था जब हँस कर उठते थे हम
और
आज कई बार
बिना मुस्कुराये ही शाम हो जाती है!!
कितने दूर निकल गए,
रिश्तो को निभाते निभाते
खुद को खो दिया हमने,
अपनों को पाते पाते
लोग कहते है हम मुश्कुराते बहोत है ,
और हम थक गए दर्द छुपाते छुपाते
“खुश हूँ और सबको खुश रखता हूँ,
लापरवाह हूँ फिर भी सबकी परवाह
करता हूँ.
मालूम हे कोई मोल नहीं मेरा…..
फिर भी,
कुछ अनमोल लोगो से
रिश्ता रखता हूँ……!

Beautiful poem by
–हरिवंशराय बच्चन

Find yourself…

My way or highway…

So its a highway….

Acceptance

A big word with no meaning unless its from heart. Mere words “I accept or I ve accepted” is sheer fake sympathising feeling. It needs a whole heart and a soul to accept. We need understand that sometimes our heart needs more time to understand what our mind already knows. Its hard but a bliss to the mind if we accept things which are not doing our way.

Not accepting things as they are is a fight against reality. It’s kind of crazy, really. Say that someone said something hurtful to you. You can wish they hadn’t said it forever, but the fact remains the same—they said what they said.

Say you did something you regret. You can wish you hadn’t done it, which could keep you stuck for a long time, but here’s the truth—you did what you did.

The problem with wishful thinking, wanting things to be different than they are, is that it’s disturbing. It resists what’s real and keeps you puzzled, you stay busy trying to make sense to it so that you feel better. But it doesn’t work, and it won’t bring you happiness.

It’s liberating to know that there’s another way: accepting things as they are.Accepting things as they are is a beautiful starting point that opens up possibilities you may have never considered.

Easy said then done but worth an effort.

Acceptance is taking an honest look at things as they are right now. You let go of judging or interpreting. You don’t need to add the layer of feeling like a failure or victim because of the situation. Rather than turning away from a situation, turn toward it and see what’s here with great compassion and understanding.

Like its about your choices.

You can live forever waiting for an apology, or you can accept that it probably won’t happen.

You can continue with a habit that doesn’t serve you, say you drink or smoke too much, or you can accept that this is the reality and explore the feelings lying inside. You can wish you had made different choices, or you can accept that you’re in the situation you’re in.
You can spend your energy denying, defending, and avoiding, or you can accept. The choice is in your hands…

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.”

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Where are you now…was it all in my fantasy…where are you now…were you only imaginary.

Memories are like a treasure of the heart. In the world of inconsistencies, memories take my heart away. Memories behind the pictures or memories with no pictures that actually bring words with them. Those words which are full of expressions n excitement to be told n to be heard.

Rightely said ‘A picture is worth a thousand word but memories are priceless’. And one day you will be just a memory too for some, do try to be the best and keep smiling.

So before going …🍷to our life time memory – our childhood

Bachpan bi kamaal ka tha, khelte khelte chahe chatt par soye ya zamee par, aankhein bister par hi khulti thi….”

Nostalgic 1990′ s

Things back then n now. Life was tough but with a mix of mystery n hardwork it was a different kind of fun. If you grew up in late 80s or 90s, you are much fortunate than today’s kids of idiotic generation. Ask me why? Because you enjoyed your real childhood before smart phones, tablets, facebook, selfies, and other technologies took over it and completely ruined it.

Here are some 90s stuff we all definitely had when we were kids. And if you still remember any of these, trust me, you had an awesome childhood.Imagine when power cuts were a glorious time, coz then you were exempt from doing homework and had no choice but to go outside and play in the dark.

That particular tone of greeting teachers when they entered the class

“Goooooood mooooorning ma’am!”

And in seventh grade, everyone got Slam Books and found out who their true friends were.

The innovative games

From chit games like raja, mantri, chor, sipahi to chidiya udh, maina udh. And how can we forget the gamethat helped us find compatibility with our crushes, flames! This is also how you decided whether someone deserved your friendship, affection, marriage, enmity, or sisterhood.

Life Hacks…. Not youtube ones but real life…
Chewing this helped you concentrate in class? LOL

You relied on white Chalks to hide your shoes dirt as you had no choice in white shoes for Saturday’s.

Intellect of another level
“Elemenopee” was the longest letter in the alphabet.

1 0 O’Cock was considered late.
10 o clock

Every Indian girl secretly tried these on from her mom’s stash. Your mom’s Shilpa bindi gold pack.

Everyone became an expert boat-maker during the monsoon.

This was the No. 1 use of doorways in your house:

This dude was terrifying, and you genuinely had nightmares about him. Thanks, Onida

Our very own actor Aashish Chowdhary of movie Dhamaal.

But this girl — so relevant, so witty — was (and is) your role model.

Always dreamed of eating truck loads of Bourbon but got Parle G.

This cigarette-shaped candy, as problematic as it is in hindsight, made you feel cool as hell:

If you had more of these, you were considered superior.

Always fantasized about having these through out the day
Cadbury_Gems

When time pass was easy.
Only 50 Paise for the best entertainment
Chacha-Chaudhary-Comics

You only got ONE carrom board in your life, which was one of your biggest asset.

And once you had this toy gun, you started behaving like a boss.

These silly games were fun time pass.
rubber band

You always played with these when mother served you in the evening with tea.
finger chips

The funny stupid games played with pen
pen game

The nostalgic time pass games
time pass games.

The coins which brought a lot of happiness
coins india

Future generation will never know about this relationship
nostalgic

You were considered a rich n a modern( yeah thats the word that was used when someone owns luxuries).Remember the feeling when you first time owned this
video game

This dog was a terror.

Those 16 bit video games glued us for hours to create a unbeatable “Highest Score”.
bricks game.

Wonder how we get glued to clash royale n candy crush… Brick gane was pretty challlenging, no matter how good you are, you miss a brick n slowly whole stack goes up n u hoosh…game over…

Carrying floppy disk was a sign of being tech savvy.
phloppy disk

You often debate on which gum is better – Big Babol or Boomer?
BIGBABOOl.And the first tattoo you ever got was courtesy of these guys. Best thing to flaunt.

You substituted your urge for a cola with this many times
cola. I personally recommended it to friends.

When travelling was important. The whole family fitted perfectly on a scooter.

And owning a Maruti 800 was a luxury and a dream for the upper middle class.

And before you knew n pronounce the word “ambassador” this is all it meant.

And your family’s first car was probably one of these. Every kids dream to have an Omni with a dragging door…quite a style statement.

When getting ready for school was not less than a mission. Every morning before you went to school you made sure your HERO fountain pen is filled with this ink.

The proud possessions, always took out this box in maths class with style
Camlin Geometry Box Scholar

Sundays routine – Hair cut –>

Washing your hair with “Clinic Plus” Shampoo –> Then watching Mahabharat, Rangoli, Mowgli back to back on Doordarshan.You remember the tune of this by heart.That awesome 90’s advertising! You actually hummed the jingles & it really gave you the feels! Remember Hamara Bajaj, Cadbury, Raymond’s & Dhaara?

You actually know who these people are. You know these faces for sure.

And the scariest part.You know this means “There’s something wrong with your TV.”

Cameras for you were this along with the reel! When you get only 36 photos… Tough competition no retakes… Selfies were out of question.

When conversation was valuable afterall it costed us unlike todays unlimited free calling. You had long wires on these no caller id phones to take them all across the house. You never saw smart phones coming!
beatle landline phone.

When dreams were limited.You always thought that you will never go there as its affordable.
Essel-World-Water-Kingdom.

And the only substitutes were swings n slides in local fairs . Our local road side jhoolas…Two rs will give ten chakkars, that small manual wheel that was good enough for all the fun of a giant wheel that will be installed in the fair for two three days once a year.

And I Wonder kids now feel they have nothing in India now inspite of kidzania, kingdom of dreams, snowworld, go escape, live paint shoot n etc etc etc.
The word was “tension” rarely heard. No not really, you almost feel like you lost your world when you lost one of these. That tricky pencil with ten lead parts.

kids smile…the only thing that stays the same…😊😊😊😊😊😊

Then…

Now…

Whoa! Feeling nostalgic?
If this post made you feel nostalgic, don’t forget sharing it with people who were part of your childhood. As I did after recieving few 1990s images from my school group.

Keep smiling😊